The Electron and I

My father fought snowplows; I fight electrons. I’ve been fighting them for years, ever since the first handheld, transistorized calculator came out, followed by assorted gadgets that are all supposedly child’s play.

And that is the problem. They are child’s play. For a 10-year old boy, and in some instances much younger, these gadgets are fun! Toys! For me, they are frustrating challenges. Even my latest little gadget – the digital camera – hasn’t been totally set up right just yet. No kid around to set the date and time stamp. I need to kidnap my grandson.

The first gadget was that calculator. I never needed it to do a great deal more than just add and subtract, and keep my checkbook more or less in control. I never did understand why I had to put the number in first, THEN hit the minus sign. Someone called it "reverse polish" …. Huh? I still only use it for my check book. My 15-year old neighbor uses his for stuff like calculus!

Then came the VCR, videocassette recorder. That was going to save me from being tied to the television when a program I wanted to see was going to be on. I think I’ve finally mastered that. I remember to put the tape in, set it up, hopefully for the right program, but I’m still afraid to leave… or not come back in time for the program. Just to make sure that I am taping it, of course. Otherwise I’d stay away. Wouldn’t I?

I can’t even EAT without having to push buttons on the microwave oven. Of course, I am supposed to be able to program it to cook later, change temperatures, and so on. I can cook TV dinners and heat coffee really well now. Not much else. At least not without fighting the buttons for control of the oven. But, I DO eat!

The one little thing that made me feel almost smug was that second-to-last digital watch I bought because I couldn’t figure out how to reset the other one I had to daylight savings time. That watch was bought just after the time change so I figured I was safe for a few months at least. Not so. I had to fly out to the coast for a family emergency, and of course had to change the watch to Pacific time. I pushed this button, and that button (there are 4 buttons on the side of that watch!). Could NOT figure it out. I tried everything I could think of. No luck. By then I had really managed to screw up the time. I asked another passenger. HE couldn’t figure it out. The flight attendant couldn’t figure it out. Her watch was a normal one! She brought it to the pilot. HE couldn’t figure it out. After that, I just put the watch away very smugly. On the way to my niece’s house, I stopped and bought an analog watch.

And that is the one I still wear. Two buttons. One for the back-light; the other to change the time by simply pulling out the stem and then pushing it back in. A normal watch. Thank heavens that normal watches are still sold!