FOOD, FOOD, FABULOUS FOOD!

Some people remember a place by its scenery or by a special even. I remember the food: bad, good or ugly, or just different.

In Sweden, for instance, I remember climbing a pear tree to pick tiny ripe pears, and then overeating. Similarly, on the first trip to California there was the basket of fresh, and very ripe figs. I hadn’t had either before, and being young and, well, innocent, I ate my fill. With disastrous results, both times. MAJOR stomach aches. But, hey, I learned. I’ve not done that since. In Morocco, however, I learned, a lot quicker, to not oranges right from the tree, at least if they still had some green color on them. A not-quite-ripe orange can be much, much more sour, mouth puckeringly sour, than a lemon.

However, the food testing is generally much more pleasant.

In Sweden, the best place to taste local foods is at a Smörgåsbord (smuhr-gohs-boord). Beet salads, herring salads, meatballs, all kinds of cheeses, many local, hard bread, soft bread, and butter, not margarine or "table spread." And it’s much better than almost any buffet.

In Iceland, the foods I prefer are fish rather than lamb or beef, and the variety is fantastic and delicious: freshly caught cod, haddock, trout, salmon, and herring dishes of all kinds. The two exception are cured (well, rotted is a closer description) shark meat and soured (cured?) whale blubber. Once is more than enough for those. Even the "aroma" is off-putting. Back to the REAL fish for a flavor change.

On to Quebec, to sample some French Canadian foods, or just plain Canadian food. Americans have their french fries with salt and sometimes vinegar. Canadians eat theirs dipped into gravy. French Canadians eat "poutine" (poo-TEEN). Poutine is Acadian slang for mushy mess and is best described as a heart attack in a bowl. What it is is cottage cheese and gravy served over crisply fried potatoes. Like I said, a heart attack in a bowl. Like most foods that are bad for you, poutine is addicting.

And then we head to Switzerland, for more heady and high cholesterol feasts, especially their cheese fondue. The Swiss prepare theirs with a blend of Gruyère and Emmenthaler (Emm-en-tall-er) cheeses, a bit of flour as a binder and a healthy glug of Kirsch (cherry brandy), all melted together. The diners pick up forks, spear a piece of fresh baked bread and dip it into the melted cheese, hoping to drop the bread … and garner kisses from every member of the opposite sex with in range. It’s supposed to be limited to just your own group, but after a few glasses of wine, no one really cares, and everyone enjoys.

On to Korea. And kimchi. Kimchi (kimm-chee) is a highly cured cabbage with pepper sauce, lots of garlic and tiny red peppers that are NOT meant to be bitten into. Unfortunately, you find this out too late, and drink a gallon of water to quench the fire that’s spread from your tongue, down your throat and into your stomach. Water doesn’t work. It merely creates an aura of trying to do something before you burn to a crisp. Milk or colas don’t work either. Trust me, I tried! You need Korean whisky, soju (soh-joo), which is akin to strong brandy, very strong brandy.

Yes, they say that kimchi is good for you, but I have figured out why. It’s not eating it, but the fact that after you do, people stay away from you. Far away.
Then there are the sea urchins. Only time I had one I thought it was a cucumber that grew in the ocean. At least, this is what one of my co-workers told me. He was Korean, and this was in Korea. I never believed him again.

More foods to be discussed at a later date, and in more detail. Consider this a mere sampler.